I’m trying to figure out where all of my motivation went…. Do you have it? Surely someone took it from me because i always thought of myself as an out-going, motivated and accomplished person..

I’m a happy person – I really have nothing at all to complain about. Everything is going great! Why, then, do i have such a hard time motivating myself to accomplish things? I see something I want to do (like spend time in the Bible, exercise, manage my portion sizes, dust the house, do the laundry……), know how it needs to be accomplished, and then instead of doing it, just waste time doing other meaningless things and then feel guilt for my lack of motivation and accomplishment. It’s a horrible cycle. I can ‘will’ myself to work out for maybe 2 weeks, and then i drift away into the inactivity/guilt again. I’m even scared to start ‘trying’ to accomplish my goals because i fear that i am doomed to repeat the cycle and fail again.

I just noticed how many “I” statements were put in the last paragraph. Not sure how to get the focus off of myself in all of this. That could be the problem with the doomed nature of it all, but i don’t’ know how to turn it around and live life for God. I can say, “I’m doing this for You, God” every morning, but it’s just words…  and THEN when I fail, the guilt is much greater because it’s not just myself i’ve let down.

….. for lack of any better ideas, here we go for another round of trying! Treadmill, let’s get re-acquainted today.